SINN FÉIN have tabled a motion for timely publicity from the media for putting forward a Dáil motion which has as much chance of passing the Dáil as Argentina has of winning this year’s Six Nations.
“We know motions are utterly meaningless in terms of having an effect on legislation and that the government can amend the wording before passing their own version but those angry at the government might not know that, and that means it looks like we’re trying and being blocked from solving all this,” said a party spokesperson.
“And where are the government? Off gallivanting to the four corners of the world at a time of crisis. Shameful,” added the spokesperson, in New York with party leader Mary Lou McDonald.
The party admitted feeling slightly guilty that such motions give desperate people the impression that the party are genuinely trying to solve the situation and not just generating easy headlines.
“The content of a motion isn’t all that important but it should be a broad sweeping suggestion void of detail as it is vital our motion results in easy PR headlines and provides an opportunity for maximum mock effrontery,” added the spokesperson, tutting like they’ve never tutted before.
“It’s our favourite game to play, we suggest a non-binding motion on an emotive subject and pretend like it’s a law that could be put into place immediately, it gets voted down, and we get to call the government a disgrace which looks great in social media posts,” concluded the SF man.
Meanwhile, the coalition has confirmed they’re completely clueless on housing solutions but on the bright side the Green Party’s head of communications has deleted a tweet in which he criticised Green Party TD Nessa Hourigan, claiming it was a carefully staged public information campaign designed at reminding people to always make sure to log into your secret second social media account before talking shit about a work colleague.