How Ireland Can Win 6 Nations, According To Friend Who Still Hasn’t Grasped Rugby’s Rules

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WITH the 6 Nations kicking off this weekend, WWN Sports gains an insight into the tournament from that lad you know who never quite got a handle on the rules, local man Gavin Trainor.

Trainor has carefully chosen not to simply say ‘dunno’ when asked his opinion and has instead given WWN Sports a detailed blueprint for strategic changes in tactics and priorities Ireland can make to guarantee glory.

Throw the ball forward more

“I’ve noticed from the games I watch, the players are all like in a line sometimes so if you just threw the ball to a guy way up the pitch you’re home free”.

Points

“It’s five for a try, two for a conversion I think, then 3 points for a penalty, so Ireland should do tries because you get more points that way”.

Tell opponents what school you went to

Surely, the English lads would step aside and let you through once you tells them you’re a Marys or Blackrock lad.

Headlocks

“There’s lads who only get players concussed by accident but the other team would be down to just a few players if you tackled them in the head on purpose but be sly about it obviously”.

Small lads

“I know the small lads are at the back of the scrummy because their hamster-like size makes them good for burrowing into the scrummer to get the ball out but what if you replaced him with a very tall lad it wouldn’t be so easy for the other team to pick him up and run him over the try line which I presume is something that happens a lot”.

Line outs

“Don’t wait for the lad to throw it, tackle him. I can’t believe someone hasn’t thought of this before”.

Sexton

“Get more players who are as good as him at halfout. Again, shocking really that I have to be the one to come up with all the ideas. Surely there’s Seventon, or Eighton lying around. Hopefully Paul O’Connell is fit too”.

Wingers

“They’re always running zig zag lines but that takes longer. Just run straight and you’ll get to the try line quicker”.

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