“It’s The State’s Job To Prevent People From Getting Money They’re Entitled To” Defends Taoiseach


THE DEPARTMENT of the Taoiseach has today sought to correct the public’s silly reaction to the news of the legal strategy pursued by the State as it sought to deny compensation to those illegally overcharged for public nursing homes.

“Oh, you didn’t know the State’s primary function is to fuck you over and then fight you tooth and nail over said fucking over?” confirmed a spokesperson for the Taoiseach, echoing Leo Varadkar’s earlier comments in which he said there was nothing unusual in the State fighting to prevent paying out compensation it knew people were entitled to.

“I don’t want to call you guys naive but we’ve been making it as arduous, offensive, stressful and dehumanising for all groups of people the State has fucked over that seek redress and compensation they’re entitled to for decades. See also, Cervical Check victims and Mother & Baby Home survivors” added the spokesperson.

Further explaining the primary function of the Irish State to the idiotic public, the spokesperson explained the State is in no way responsible for a functional civil society or the provision of services, rather it is here to commit negligence, malice, cock-ups and ineptitude before the State’s legal advisors work around the clock to ensure the people affected are stonewalled.

“Social contract? Ha, fuck you we sign those things in disappearing ink,” explained the spokesperson, who wouldn’t comment on news that 12,000 vulnerable people were wrongly denied their disability allowance payments.

“Where did you get the idea the State’s job is to look after vulnerable people rather than heap misery and financial pain on them? Certainly not from successive government’s policies and deeds anyway, that’s for sure”.