For The Tenth Time, Local Man Explains How They’re Not Zombies In ‘The Last Of Us’
THE LONG-awaited video game adaptation The Last Of Us has been gripping NOW streamers everywhere but one viewer, Waterford man Cathal Ahearne, would be enjoying it a lot more if everyone would stop saying that it’s a show about a zombie outbreak.
Ahearne, who has been a fan since the first game was released on the PlayStation 3 in 2013, has made it his life’s work to set the record straight.
“The cordyceps fungus is an actual thing that affects insects and plants, and the show presents a situation where a mutation in the spores allows it to affect humans,” explained Ahearne, passionately nerding-it-up to anyone who would listen.
“Whereas zombies are reanimated dead bodies. In The Last Of Us, they’re not dead – they’re mutated beyond rational thought, beyond reason. Far more tragic, but also far more deadly,” he continued, completely nailing a first date he was on with a woman he matched on Tinder, who he’ll never see again.
“Zombies are yesterday’s news, fungally infected mutants are where it’s at these days,” he explained to his family over Sunday dinner, writing out his points on a large notice board he brought in the hopes of finally drilling this home.
“The cordyceps mutants use echo-location to stalk their prey,” Ahearne told a taxi driver who wondered what extra charges he could add to the fare for having to sit through all of this.
“Anyone that thinks The Last Of Us is a zombie show is wrong – it’s a gripping survival drama set in a world ravaged by the merciless power of nature!” he pleaded once more, this time during a hastily-convened meeting with HR at work, now handing him his p45.
Meanwhile, the rest of the world seems perfectly content to enjoy The Last Of Us without getting too vexed about any of this ‘not zombie’ nonsense.