IT’S BEEN a tense, silent few days in the Élysée Palace as French President Emmanuel Macron walks on eggshells around his wife Brigitte Macron after announcing his intention to raise the retirement age.
“I’ll just be keeping the head low, the Palace is big enough in fairness, I’ll probably use one of the spare wings to watch PSG on the TV until she calms down,” confided Macron.
Clattering of cutlery and the heavy slamming of doors soundtrack the halls of the Palace as Macron faces his own protest at home as well as on the streets.
“Zut alors! ‘Some of my youngest friends are going to screwed over by this’. The same woman making a big deal about a 2 year gap in retirement age didn’t have a problem with a 24 year gap when it came to me, honestly” said Macron, who gets enough of this at work and doesn’t need it when he comes home.
“It’s not all bad just imagine being Irish, they have a ‘flexible pension model’ meaning people might have to work ’til they’re 70!” added Macron.
In addition to raising the retirement age from 62 to 64, France is also exploring inhumane changes incompatible to their way of life including limiting people to three mistresses per person and granting Netflix permission to make 15 more series of Emily In Paris.