Something About January That Just Says ‘Overthrow The Government’

JANUARY is never anyone’s favourite month, but despite this nations around the world have urged their citizens to not let it get to them to the point they end up staging a violent insurrection against democratically elected leaders, WWN can report.

The tradition of storming government buildings in early January started on January 6th 2021 when supporters of ousted American president Donald Trump stormed the Capitol Building in Washington DC, and has continued this year as supporters of ousted Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro stormed their own congress in Brasília, prompting fears that new year’s boredom and brokeness could lead others around the world to kick off too.

“Lads, dry January is rough on everyone, but if it comes down to smashing your way into government buildings or having a few pints, please just have a few pints,” stated worried politicians from around the world.

“Here’s a wonderful new year’s resolution for everyone ‘don’t be an insurrectionist’. Or better again, take up a new hobby in January, something that will occupy your mind and keep you from picking up a flag and rioting. Tap-dancing, playing the flute, anything except ‘staging a violent uprising because I didn’t like the results of the last election’. We don’t like where this is headed”.

Nations have suggested that if people are going to lose their minds and try to overthrow their government, that they at least leave it to the summer as some riot police are still groggy and hungover after Christmas holidays and can’t quite stomp people as well as they’d like.