Referendum To Sell One County To China Down To Final Choice Between Louth & Carlow

A CLEVER move to further reduce the national debt and add to the State’s rainy day fund has seen a series of ‘knock out’ style referendums come down to this; one of Louth and Carlow will be sold off to China.

China, in the market for a stronghold in Western europe, and Ireland desperate to enhance its balance sheet as the tech industry continues to suffer job cuts had reached an agreement some time before with the Chinese Communist Party.

“You know I was clean against it to begin with, but as the voting day gets closer it might actually be fun,” said one Dundalk native, who can at least look forward to zero tolerance on crime if the nation votes to offload it to China.

“It’s harsh I know but you wouldn’t miss it, would you?” said one Carlow local of Carlow.

With both counties carrying a price tag of €500mn, the ultimate sale has been heralded as both the deal and rip off of the century by Irish people.

“We favour the Louth to win because the local accent is not far from Mandarin, they will adapt more quickly,” said Chinese leader Xi Jinping, speaking before the vote next week.

The finer details of the transfer of the winning county are still to be ironed out but it is believed people from Carlow and Louth will be able to move freely in and out of Ireland.

“Sod that, put up a wall I’m not having Dubliners being able to come over here anytime they want when the Irish economy collapses or Sinn Féin get in,” said one Louth resident.