Galway Given Luas For One Week Trial


CHOKED BY traffic and awaiting a €600mn ring road, Galway is to be given the Luas for an exclusive one-week trial to see if frequent public transport with the capacity to carry hundreds of passengers is something that would like full time.

“What the fuck was that?” said one motorist, swerving out of the way of bell-ringing Luas heading in the NUIG direction.

To ensure Galway gets to experience the true Luas journey, the trams will come preinstalled with trouble-making teens and pricks playing music from their phones at full blast.

“You know I could get used to this,” said one of Galway’s first Galway Luas passenger as they breezed past idle cars on Headford Road and Quincentennial Bridge, “I’ve missed all my children’s major life milestones due to being stuck in traffic, but this changes everything”.

However, the trial ran into some problems when motorists in Salthill blocked the passage of one Luas.

“It’s bad enough with cyclists, but I hate nothing more than people getting places quicker than me and without the blood pressure inducing stress I endure in the car,” said one motorist now lying across the ground in protest.

At the end of the trial locals will be asked to fill in a comment card with their feedback and if most people want a light rail system introduced the government has pledged to get back to them with plans in 2060.