Dublin Man Urges Girlfriend To Stay Indoors After Bird Flu Warning


ACTING on the hard wired impulse within him to minimise all threats to his loved ones, local man Fergal Christie has quickly acted on the advice administered by the Dept of Agriculture.

“I dunno why the Minister for Agriculture is the one in charge of telling us, I’m just telling ye what I read now get in quick,” insisted Christie to his girlfriend Sarah Rafter as she was sitting in the garden.

“At the end of the day it’s a case of better safe than sorry isn’t it, your bird is your bird you want to keep her safe” said Christie, peering out the window with a paranoid glare in search of avian flu afflicted local birds lest they infect his girlfriend.

Am emotionally draining undertaking especially having the recent memories of multiple lockdowns at the forefront of his mind, Christie tearfully told Rafter he wasn’t sure when it would be safe to have boozy brunches and nights out with her friends again.

“The neighbour’s missus is forever getting the flu real bad in winter so she won’t be coming anywhere near the gaff I tell ya one thing, I’m looking here at the symptoms and she definitely had a blue colouration of the comb and wattles last time I saw her” added Christie, shoveling months’ worth of food supplies into the spare room and sealing the windows.

“I’ve Netflix set up in there now, you’ll be grand just whatever you do don’t open the window if any local gossips come knocking, if anyone has bird flu it’ll be them,” cautioned Christie.

Despite being asked if he wanted to read the push notification from the news app on his phone one more time, Christie insisted WWN leave for our own safety.