“I Couldn’t Have Done This Without The Help Of Some Pretty Terrifying Religious Extremists”


BENJAMIN NETANYAHU has thanked far-right nationalist and religious extremist politicians including convicted racist Itamar Ben-Gvir, stating that without their support he would not be on course to sweep back into power.

“There’s no way embracing the religious extremists too extreme for a significant number of Israelis will come back to bite me in the caboose,” Netanyahu said in a victory speech.

“This guy used to hang a portrait in his house of a terrorist who massacred 29 Palestinians as they prayed and he once threatened a former PM in ominous fashion two weeks before he was assassinated. This is just the normal political alliance you form when you want to get back into power,” added Netanyahu, somehow back in the hotseat despite a corruption scandal which saw him charged with bribery, fraud, and breach of trust.

Securing the support of Ben Gvir whose Jewish Power faction has transformed themselves from an extremist party into a moderate party by changing their ‘death to Arabs’ chants to ‘death to terrorists’.

“Yes, he pointed a gun at Palestinians in recent protest clashes last month but I’m sure he’ll be a dream to work with, the things people do for power huh?” added Netanyahu, utterly delighted with his victory.

Now propped up by ultra-conservative ring-wing parties Netanyahu’s return to power could see an end to the easy-breezy light touch approach of the previous government under which the Israeli military only managed to kill 27 Palestinian children so far this year.