Chugger Has That Lean And Smile Thing Down To Fine Art


VETERAN charity muggers or ‘chuggers’ have remarked on the speed at which new recruit Alex Fannelly has picked up the basics of the trade, with the eager youngster now accosting up to 40 pedestrians per hour in central Waterford city.

“The serpentine contortions he puts his body through to get himself in the path of a passer-by are something to behold. Watch here, the person is nearly past him and boom, he does a full body twist from the waist without moving his feet and he’s right in their face,” said long-term clipboard jockey Matthew Tallon, who brought young Fannelly onto his team just weeks ago.

“Look at his persistence, look at his shit-eating grin, listen to how his tone changes when he’s assuring people that he’ll only take a minute of their time despite knowing full well that this is a 20-minute process. He’s doing things that took me months to learn, but he picked up in a few days – beautiful”.

Fannelly credits his success in the field of on-street commission-driven direct debit detail accusations to his ability to lure people in with a smile before doing a hard 180 and guilting them into passing over their details, and of course, a sparkling smile no matter what he’s collecting for.

“Whether it’s mistreated donkeys, famine in Africa, domestic abuse, ingrown toenails, cancer, mudslides, homeless X-Factor contestants, whatever it is, hit ’em with the Colgate smile,” explained Fannelly, while we helplessly read him out our BIC and IBAN.

“After that, you’re pals with them. And as a pal, you’ll help me raise money to paint extra spots onto self-conscious Dalmatians, won’t you? It’s only the price of two coffees a month, surely you can spare that. Now if you’ll just sign here and print here, we’re done, sure that didn’t take long did it? Off you pop now… next!”