Man Sues Bryan Adams In Historic Ear Abuse Case


A DUBLIN man has launched the world’s first landmark ear abuse case against a singer today which could see thousands of similar lawsuits flooding the courts, WWN has learned.

A legal team representing 42-year-old Mark Jennings has claimed the Bryan Adams’ song Everything I Do caused their client undue stress over a 16-week period in 1991, stating the power ballad left Jennings with crippling flashbacks causing decades of anxiety issues every time the song was played in his vicinity.

“When I hear those lyrics, I’m just left paralysed in terror, especially at the ‘There’s no love like your love’ part,” a disheveled looking Jennings told the court, his face visibly haunted with the memory of those 4 long months during his delicate teenage years.

“Even when someone mentions Robin Hood the song slithers into my head like an ear worm”.

Despite several medical brain procedures to try and pinpoint and destroy the area of the brain responsible for the memory, the plaintiff continues to cringe deep down inside at the mere thoughts of the song, which he said ruined his childhood experience.

“Back then we only had long wave radio Atlantic 252 to listen to for decent music, which was notorious for repeating popular tracks,” Jennings went on, “but when Adams’ song kept being played, over and over again, every day for 16 fecking weeks – it just destroyed all my love for music and left me feeling dead inside for decades after”.

The song, which featured in the 1991 film Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, is said to be responsible for thousands of ear abuse claims, with the singer now expected to be bombarded with similar cases against him.

“We just want justice,” explained another man whose ears were also abused in the early 90s by Adams, “that monster needs to pay for what he has done to music lovers worldwide”.