Local Lads Look Right Hard, So They Do


A GROUP of local lads have confirmed to all onlookers that there is no need to directly tell them how hard, intimidating and cool they look as they’re already aware, WWN can confirm.

Brenno, Al ‘The Chop’ Hackett and Dave have been strategically positioned on a street corner a short distance from their local Spar for much of the morning, blaring tunes from Brenno’s 2006 Clio sparking off a community wide reaction of unbridled awe and respect.

“Keep walking pal, we fuckin’ know how class we look, don’t need telling,” Dave barked at a 6-year-old cycling by on her bike who hadn’t actually noticed the lads up until that point.

Intensely skulking in close proximity to the Clio, the men took turns to aggressively spit on the ground and pull at their mickeys through their tracksuit bottoms, presumably done just to double check their genitals hadn’t disappeared 30 seconds after they last checked.

The lads confessed to being concerned by the possible consequences their raw macho magnetism could have on the locality, wondering aloud if Met Éireann should issue a flash flood warning on account on how women can’t help but react to them.

“Get the council to bring all their ‘caution wet floor’ signs too, poor women be drippin’ at the sight of us,” confirmed Brenno, while trying to settle on a pose and stance he thought exuded the right amount of ‘look how hard I am’ seriousness.

The subject of all local gossip today, it is rumoured the impressive lads’ biceps are so large and muscular that they have their own biceps, and that between the three lads they have probably had sex at least once.