Everything Game Of Thrones Needs To Accomplish In The Finalé

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WELL, we’re finally here. The 73rd and last episode of Game Of Thrones airs this Sunday on HBO, and it has some work to do if it wants to keep the fans happy.

With the majority of people expressing dissatisfaction with how season 8 has neglected to give satisfactory conclusions to several beloved characters and long-in-the-making story arcs, the writers of the hit fantasy show have a lot of ground to cover if they’re to tie up all the loose ends and leave every single fan happy, specifically:

1) Do a Men In Black on the last three seasons

Picture this; the HBO logo comes up, and then there’s a flash of brilliant white light. Will Smith steps into the frame, in a sharp black suit. With just a few words, he removes all memories of the last three seasons of the show. When he leaves, we’re back in Castle Black; Jon Snow is dead, Arya is blind, Ramsay Bolton is in Winterfell. The saga continues, only properly this time.

2) Make the last episode 18 hours long

If we can’t have a do-over, then the next best thing to do is make the last episode nearly a day long, giving it the chance to properly wrap up all loose threads, give characters the send-off they deserve, let Jon pet Ghost for fuck sake, rebuild Kings Landing, have Dany apologise for whatever the fuck came over her, find Jaime and Cersei alive under the rubble and kill them properly this time. Instead of rushing through the last ten episodes like something was on fire somewhere, take a breather for once.

3) Listen to the requests of 18 million people

Some 18 million fans tuned in for the penultimate episode ‘The Bells’, and the vast majority of them let their feelings be known afterwards. In order to have a 100% happy fan base, the writer of GOT will need to take the time and listen to what makes everyone happy and pull off a number of reshoots and dialogue recordings before the show hits the air. That gives them only a few hours to get this done, so, you know, maybe get a move on lads. you’re in ‘Lost’ territory right now. Sort it the fuck out.

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