Thousands Of Embryos Unaware They’ll Be Christened ‘Francis’
A NEW survey carried out on thousands of embryos set to be born in 2018 and 2019 has found that the large majority of them have no idea they’ll be christened Francis to mark the pope’s visit later this month.
In a questionnaire issued to over 4,000 embryos, they were asked to predict what name they were to be given when born, with not one single embryo mentioning the name Francis.
“Kanye was their top guess, God love them. Our fear now is that many of these male embryos will grow up hating their parents for giving them such a feminine name, and even worse, being named after a pope,” child psychologist Dr. Darren Rice told WWN.
“Back in 1979, almost half of all newborn male embryos were later christened John Paul, which is a very strong masculine name,” he added, “now we’re going to have an entire class, year, generation of men named Francis, which could lead to a thick skinned batch of males with permanent psychological scars from years of schoolyard bullying to flood Irish society within the next 20 years; of course this will be great for An Garda Síochána recruiting”.
Along with the new surge in the male population bearing the name Francis, an equal measure of embryos which will grow to be female are also expected to take the name in 2018 and 2019, with future classrooms expected to be filled with both male and female children called Francis, which will lead to massive confusion for future teachers, college lecturers and employers.
“We’ll just have to give every Francis a unique number instead,” Dr. Rice concluded.