The Legend Of Ireland’s First Illegal Dumping Spot

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IT took years of painstaking, impossibly precise work but the Archaeological Society of Ireland believe they have finally found the missing pieces of the puzzle which may have solved the legend of Ireland’s first ever illegal dumping spot, the mythical Poolnadarragh fly-tip.

Considered by many to be nothing more than legend, the Poolnadarragh fly-tip in the picturesque Boyne Valley was first uncovered in 1997, after archaeologists discovered ancient samples of household rubbish, old mattresses and cloth nappies full of fossilised Neanderthal shite, hinting that our primitive ancestors may have had the same ‘fuck-it’ mentality when it comes to dumping illegally that many Irish people still have today.

Carbon dating aged the rubbish at around 750AD, which placed it in the time frame of the myths and legends surrounding Chu Chulainn and the cattle raid of Cooley, and further examination of the material found at the site seems to back up the theory that this is indeed where the locals of that time dumped their rubbish, starting a tradition that is still very much alive now.

“When you see people illegally dumping today, you have to accept that this is not a new, or recent behaviour,” said Dr. Gillain Harris, chief archaeologist at the dig site.

“In this country, we’ve been not giving a fuck for millennia. Dispose of municipal waste safely? Nah, back when this site was first chosen as a quiet, secluded beauty spot to dump in, people could see clearly that they could dispose of their waste for free and without much hassle from anyone in authority. Our ancestors would come here, under the cover of night, and tip out sacks full of bones, animal parts, dead Saxons, straw stuffed mattresses, condoms made out of sheep intestines. Then off they’d go, not a bother on them. We’ve lost a lot of our traditions in the hundreds of years since then, so it’s nice to see that being a prick about getting rid of your house rubbish is still part of what makes us Irish”.

Further evidence is mounting that the Poolnadarragh fly-tip site would sometimes be visited by people who spotted something they wanted in it, with cave-drawings suggesting that many people rescued couches and perfectly good swords out of the dump from time to time.

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