Local Man Can’t Wait To Get Sick Now He Has Health Insurance

WATERFORD native Jim Keenahan would be only too pleased to get run over by a car or contract a serious illness at the minute, after signing up to private health insurance for the first time in his life.

Having given in to pleas from his wife to sign the whole family up for a health insurance policy, Keenahan now feels that a decent bout of malaria or at least a pilonidal cyst would make the monthly payments ‘worthwhile’, and help him feel like he was getting his money’s worth.

The 35-year old father of three has stressed that he’s not actively looking to get sick or injured, but that he would accept the arrival of ill health if only to see just how better the treatment would be, now that he’s paying for it.

“With the amount of money I’m paying each month, I’d like to get right to the top of at least one waiting list” said Keenahan, browsing Web MD to see if there’s any illnesses he likes the sound of.

“Something that I would have had to wait for years to get done if I hadn’t any insurance. You’d want to see the premiums I’m paying each month, and I’m healthy as fuck right now. It’s just a waste of money, it’s like buying car insurance and driving safely”.

Keenahan has stated that he’s willing to go to his GP just so he can claim a portion of his fees back, to feel like he’s ‘winning’.