Clintons To Be Officially Sat Down And Told ‘It’s Over’
IN LIGHT of recent claims that the 2016 US election was rigged in three key states, a now panicked American public have quickly requested an official sit down with Bill and Hillary Clinton in a bid to tell them it’s still over, and not to even think about making a bid for president ever again.
Voters from both major American parties joined in unison, urging government officials to stage an intervention with the Clintons and make sure they never run again for office.
“It’s fine, we’re perfectly capable of finding a more suitable candidate if Trump gets impeached or even if the election was proven to be rigged,” said Democratic voter James Thompson, “Seriously, can we make sure Bill and Hillary get the message? We want to make this clear, and maybe a sit down with them would be the best thing to do right now, before they start getting notions again. Please?”
Responding to the calls, sitting president Barack Obama said he will “have a word” with the Clintons “if it makes everyone happy”, and that “the talk” was a long time coming and that he was sorry he didn’t do this sooner.
“I will try my best to explain it to them, but I can’t promise anything,” he said, with his head in his hands, “Bill will understand, but Hills? I’m not looking forward to this chat,” adding, “I need a cigarette”.
President Obama was urged to intervene and talk with the Clintons immediately after some former Clinton campaign staff were seen unpacking unused tweets, snapchats, memes and relatable videos from the campaign’s New York headquarters.
Meanwhile, president-elect Donald Trump stated that he will not be pursuing Hillary Clinton over her email breach, insisting that losing to him would be punishment enough for anyone.