Iraq ‘Liberated’ For 49th Time In Last 13 Years


AS a concerted effort by Iraqi forces, supported by a US-led coalition, attempt to drive ISIS from Mosul, Iraq can now consider itself fully liberated for the 49th time since 2003.

The terror group ISIS, responsible for heinous and unspeakable acts of barbarism, had considered Mosul its stronghold within Iraq, but now looks set to be wiped off the disputed territory’s map, much to the delight of relieved locals.

“Yes, I’m overjoyed. A lot of news websites from the West tell me terrorism is over now, which is a relief. And I can’t say I disagree with them, thank God this extremism is now extinct,” Mosul local Asif Haddad shared with WWN.

“I may be speaking too soon, and I did say this several times in 1989, 1995, 2003,2005 and 2009 but this liberation feels like the best one yet. I can’t see any more problems arising,” Haddad confirmed.

Haddad, who still has his ‘Mission Accomplished’ tattoo from 2003, dismissed worries that ISIS would flee to Syria or even use chemical weapons in a last ditch attempt to cause further suffering in Mosul.

“Where do people get this pessimistic outlook from? The glass is half full, honestly, I have a good feeling about this time,” Haddad added, experiencing a worrying sense of Deja Vu.

If Iraqi generals’ estimations prove to be accurate ISIS will be ousted from Mosul in as little as two months, leaving Iraq to carry on being a harmonious and secular country run by exceptionally virtuous politicians.

ISIS are set to console themselves following their imminent defeat by moving some more of their death cult roadshow into Syria.