Thousands Wait In Dundalk To See How Sterling Is Doing Before Crossing Border

THE Northbound M1 between Drogheda and Newry has become a virtual car park in the past few hours, as thousands of people from the Republic wait for just the right moment to head up the north and clean the place out.

With the pound falling at a rate not seen in decades, the UK currency has achieved parity with the euro on a number of occasions, dipping below the value of the single European currency at times.

Fuelled by Brexit uncertainty, the currency continues to flop around like a recently landed trout, causing the Republic of Ireland bargain-seekers to jump in their cars and head for the border in their droves.

Aiming to get the most out of their euro, the majority of these shoppers have stalled outside Dundalk, sitting there glued to their phones, checking the currency markets, waiting for the optimum time to strike.

“Once the pound is utterly fucked, I’m hitting the accelerator,” said one man, hauling an empty horse trailer behind his Volkswagon Jetta.

“Drink, a big telly, Daz, you name it. I’m filling the yoke up to the roof. It’s a real game of chicken right now… you don’t want to head too soon, when if you waited another hour your euro would be worth more. We’re patient. We’ve brought tea”.

As of time of print, the UK has continued to insist that the pound is grand, and will be worth twice what it is now by the weekend.