Last Refugee To Leave Syria Asked To Switch Off The Lights


REFUGEES fleeing the irrepressible carnage wrought by the warring sides in the Syrian Civil War have been urged to ensure the lights are switched off when the last remaining terrified citizen officially leaves the country.

“I’m not even sure it is technically a ‘country’ anymore,” Middle East expert Bob Fist told WWN, “it’s just a series of endless bomb craters next to devastate people dragging themselves to the nearest borders”.

As innocent people continue to count the cost of casualties since the war began in 2011, the stark realisation that there are actually very few people who haven’t taken the decision to flee their homes left has been made.

“At last count, I’d say we’re down to the last 1,000 people after you discount those actively involved in the fighting. Good luck finding a standing building with a working light, though, if you end up left tasked with switching it off,” Fist added.

While the media put the Syrian War on pause late last year to focus on the US Elections, Harambe the gorilla, Brexit and most recently Pokemon GO, those living in Syria admit to being reluctant to take the responsibility of switching the lights off.

“I think more would have left before now only for the fact close to 500,000 have been murdered,” shared Aleppo resident Farid Nasry, “we barely have a light to switch off actually,” he added, speaking from one of a handful of buildings yet to shelled by either Assad forces, rebel forces, Al Qaeda, ISIS, the good rebels or the other rebel forces that used to be good but are now bad.

“There is also the question of who gets left with the bill, I’m not paying the disconnect fee, that’s where they get you, those electricity companies,” Nasry concluded.

There is little hope left to cling to for Syrian civilians, but rumours that one of their stories will be made into a heartwarming Hollywood movie long after they’re dead is proving to be of some comfort.