Damning Report Shows Ireland Was Wrong To Send Jedward To Eurovision


THE decision by Ireland to send pop duo Jedward to the Eurovision song contest twice in two years has been heavily criticised in a damning report published today.

The Grimes Report, nearly 6 years in the making, states that the brothers were sent to Dusseldorf in 2011 and Baku in 2012 on the basis of their popularity; something that was vastly over-exaggerated at the time, and possibly non-existent.

Further damning evidence points at the carnage caused by the deployment of the songs “Lipstick” and “Waterline”, the consequences of which are still being felt today.

“Ireland reacted recklessly to their poor performances at previous Eurovision contests, by rushing into sending Jedward over without a clear strategy for the years to come,” said one Eurovision official.

“They were warned about what would happen to the billion-strong Eurovision audience, but they went ahead and sent in the Grimes brothers anyway. Members of the Irish public who voted for Jedward to be deployed and RTÉ executives who suggested that they be even in contention need to be held accountable for their actions. Put in simple terms, they are war criminals”.

The collateral damage of Jedward at the Eurovision is still being felt today, with many believing that they may have been the reason for the ensuing formation of ISIS.