Nation Says First Prayer In Years Before Match Against Sweden
THE NATION this morning found a spare minute or two to bring its hands together and pray to God for the first time in years ahead of Ireland’s opening Euro 2016 match against Sweden, WWN has learned.
Before heading off to work, the Nation quickly Googled ‘how to pray properly’ fearing its half remembered praying technique could inadvertently enrage God, leaving the deity with no other option but to side with Sweden instead.
“Eh, howiya God? I know it has been awhile and you probably have a lot going on and that. But, I’d really appreciate if you could turn John O’Shea into Jaap Stam for 90 minutes, or turn Zlatan into Paul Green, you know, like in those silly body swap movies, cheers Alan,” one Irish supporter Alan Varley was overheard praying this morning.
Sacred Heart paintings were directly addressed for the first time in decades by the majority of people, with some prayer opportunists opting to pray to the patron saint of Irish football, Paul McGrath.
“Paul, you’re still alive and that, so I’ve no idea if you’re getting my prayers, but I’m praying for a solid defensive display, yours sincerely and in all holiness, Amen?” die hard fan Niall Geurin pleaded in prayer, completely unsure of the correct sign on a prayer.
It is believed many supporters’s prayers included promises to ‘be good’ if God could grant Ireland a win by a margin of 3 or 4 goals.
“I’m not sure how much God knows about the new Euro format this year, we can even qualify for the next round if we finish 3rd, so I stressed how a decent goal difference would be key,” another avid prayer, Joanna Kelly explained to WWN.