Rise In Men Getting ‘Testicle Lifts’ In Bid To Look Younger


THE COSMETIC Surgeons Association of Ireland has today released its latest report into the increasing trend of testicle lifts, which saw over 43,000 Irish men between the ages of 35 – 65 opting for the procedure in a bid to look younger.

The three hour operation, which costs in the region of €5k, is said to revolutionise the male testicle, erasing unsightly wrinkles and shaping them into equal symmetry.

“For years my right bollock was always hanging lower than the left,” Irish Olympic swimmer Karl Ronan explained. “The lads in the changing rooms were always giving me a hard time, calling me horrible names like crooked ball and gammy dick. Then, after I got the testicle lift, everyone started praising my testicles, and some even asked where they could get theirs done”.

Since the first procedure in 2012, almost half a million Irish men have received some form of testicle lift. However, many men have been arrested for exposing their testicles in public, a law the Testicles Are Beautiful Alliance (TABA) are trying to change.

“Women are allowed breastfeed in public, why can’t I flaunt my ball bag?” Eoin Boland, chairman for the group stated today. “There is nothing wrong with testicles. It’s a natural thing and men should be allowed wear their testicles outside their pants whenever they like”.

Testicle jeans, a crotchless pants for men who wish to let it all hang out, are currently banned in Ireland under EU law.