Toddler Morphs Into Dickhead The Second He Enters Restaurant

A COUNTY Waterford couple who decided to go for a meal with their four-year-old son were left dumbfounded today after he instantaneously “morphed into a dickhead”, just seconds after sitting down in the restaurant.

Jason Purcell, who just began crying for no reason whatsoever, reluctantly sat into the table despite his parents’ best efforts to appease him with promises of ice-cream and sprinkles, an order immediately given to waiting staff upon arrival.

“For the love of God, can someone get us crayons, paper, anything to shut this little bollox up,” dad David begged, frantically looking around the restaurant for anything or anyone to help. “Where’s an angry looking old man when you need one”.

The toddler, who learned at an early stage that mammy and daddy never threatens him in public, bellowed uncontrollably, knowing his treat was on its way.

“There ya go now,” said the child’s mother as the waiter delivered the bowl, before whispering into Jason’s ear. “One more fucking word out of you and I swear to God, you won’t be able to sit down for a week”.