‘Back In October’: Taoiseach Calls Summer Holidays Seconds After Being Re-Elected

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NEWLY reinstated Taoiseach Enda Kenny was greeted with a standing ovation from his political peers in Leinster House today after dismissing the Dáil for the summer holidays, just seconds after being re-elected.

Following several minutes of intense applause, Mr. Kenny thanked members of the Dáil for their hard work and understanding over the past two months, and that a long break was needed to “recharge everyone’s batteries”.

“I think I can speak for everyone here when I say we’re exhausted and need a good holiday,” he began, interrupted again by several more minutes of clapping and cheers. “Sure, we can come back to all this stuff again in October. They’re giving a good forecast for the summer. It would be a shame to be wasting it, stuck in here”.

Only minutes after his announcement, the Dáil chambers were completely empty, forcing many people online into a frenzy.

“They haven’t done a tap all year, and now they’re off until October?” queried redundant Irish Water protester James Ahern. “It’s an absolute disgrace this whole thing, no one wants this phony government in the first place”.

Enda Kenny was finally elected as leader after two months of bribing Fianna Fáil and Independent TDs.

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