Waterford Woman Seeks Professional Help For Hilarious Running Style


WATERFORD woman Jessica Hennessey has finally sought professional help for what observers have called ‘a hilarious and utterly ridiculous’ running style.

Hennessey, 24, was aware of her predisposition to provide hours of laughter for motorists and passers by on the occasions she went out on her daily run, and recently decided to do something about it.

“It was the slagging I got, they made me seek out help. ‘T-rex arms’, ‘spazzy spazzy lady hands’, ‘epileptic hands’ they all cut deep. I don’t do it on purpose, I just can’t really find a rhythm ya know?” Hennessey shared from the waiting room of running expert Dr. Frank Osbourne.

News of Hennessey’s decision has been greeted with positivity from Waterford locals.

“To look at her from a distance, you would be forgiven for thinking she has no idea as to the purpose of her arms,” fellow jogger and Waterford resident Sarah McFadden explained to WWN, “as if it was her very first time using them, so while I break my shit laughing every time I see it’d be nice for her to sort it out”.

Speaking to WWN earlier Dr. Frank Osbourne, a runologist, is hopeful of finding a more suitable running style for Miss Hennessey.

“She is not a lost cause, but we have a long road ahead of us, she will have to learn how to crawl, as it were, before learning how to run like someone who isn’t being attacked by a swarm of violent bees,” Dr. Osbourne explained, giving hope the thousands of other people out there who suffer from HRSS (Hilarious Running Style Syndrome).