Donald Trump Admits He Regrets Endorsing Irish Abortion Laws

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AMERICAN presidential hopeful Donald Trump has backtracked on his endorsement of an Irish attitude to abortion, claiming ‘he was ashamed, and would never seek to punish women the way the Irish constitution does’.

“Believe you me, I regret it. That much I can tell you, I can guarantee it. Oh my God, they’re so backward, can you believe it? I would never do that, that I guarantee,” the Republican front runner explained in an attempt to completely abandon a firmly held belief for the 6,445th time this election cycle.

The Republican, who has received praise for expressing a desire to ban all Muslims from America, was even criticised by die hard American conservatives.

The news that Trump claimed women who undergo abortions in the hypothetical instance, that the procedure was illegal in America should be punished, was met with utter contempt and disgust in various countries around the world, including Ireland, with the incident leading both TV3 and RTÉ news bulletins which called his stance ‘controversial’.

“You know, the same way the news here always calls Irish abortion laws, controversial, backward, undignified and full of disdain for women in all their news reports,” explained professional opinion former, Martin Higgins.

“Those comments were disgusting, they’d make your stomach turn. Jesus, could you imagine if he got elected, if he had his way we’d all be trying to jail women who have had abortions. That’s mental,” confirmed Shannon Duffy, unaware that women can face up to 14 years in prison for taking an abortion pill in Ireland.

Many Irish citizens expressed relief at not living in America, thankful they could avail of abortion in the UK.

“Ah, no surprises. Them lot over there are as crazy as a bag of cats, you can stick New York up your hole if you think we’d stand for that shite over here,” added another incensed Irish person, Kathleen O’Brien.

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