4 Reasons You’ll Click On This You Great Big Fucking Eejit

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WE fucking knew it. Jesus, look at ya, like a dog with a bone. A bone that clearly advertised it was marrow free and yet you wanted to dine out on it anyway. Whatever expectations you had, you need to ditch them asap. Here’s the reasons why:

1) Honestly, predictable or what. You’re a glutton for clickbait punishment and despite never being amazed, astonished, inspired and warmed of heart here you are again, you great big fucking eejit.

2) Maybe you clicked because of the vague sense that you might somehow gain something from reading such a tantilisingly titled article. Jokes on you. Aisling in accounts wouldn’t even fall for that. Aisling in fucking accounts.

3) Psychology. We’re not arsed looking it up, and why should we, you’re the great big fucking eejit who clicked, but trust us, you definitely clicked because there’s some sort of psychology at work, psychologising you as we speak. Eejit.

4) The final reason is of course because you would rather drag your testicles or the female equivalent across broken glass than actually do some work. And we preyed on that, and we’re not proud of it, but we’re also not sorry because only a great big fucking eejit would fall into such an obvious trap.

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