TAKING to a comfy chair behind a desk in an RAF airhanger, British prime minister David Cameron happily signed copies of his latest bombs for queuing fighter pilots and curious members of the public before the warheads were loaded them onto their aircraft.
“It’s just one of the small things I like to do, it’s all worth it when you see their little faces light up,” Cameron explained to assembled media.
There were some delays, though as the PM busied himself, kindly writing personal messages on each individual bomb the ink ran dry in several pens, due to the volume of missiles that required signing.
“There’s just so many of them, but as I said, it’s no effort on my part. I’m only too happy to do it,” Cameron added.
Lengthy messages were written on several specific bombs in the hope the charred corpses of ISIS members could read them clearly and heed Cameron’s stark warnings about extremism and all its flaws and faults.
“We didn’t bomb the other fella for using chemical weapons on his own people because he had the good grace to do it in his own back garden, and not in Paris,” read one bomb message, written in exceptionally neat handwriting.
“Brown lads bad, me good,” read another message.
Despite his enthusiasm at the signing Cameron was not allowed, despite his pleading, to take home a bomb for himself to use at his own leisure.