Irish Soccer Fans Called In To Help Calm Tensions In Middle East


THE ongoing turmoil in the Middle East is set to ease in the coming months, after a battalion of Irish soccer fans were drafted in to travel to hotzones and cheer everyone up with their plucky, can-do approach to life.

Tensions mounted yesterday after Turkish armed forces shot down a Russia warplane over Turkish airspace, as it made its way to bomb ISIS targets in Syria.

Leaders across the world called for cool heads to prevail, with many fearing that this may be the point where the conflict descends into all-out war.

With spokespeople from the White House, Downing Street and NATO itself all calling for calm, it is believed that the last true hope for peace in the Middle East is for the legions of Republic of Ireland soccer fans to tip over, have a bit of a sing-song, maybe have a few beers, and get everyone in good humour.

“The Irish fans are the greatest fans in the world, there’s nothing they can’t do,” said one NATO representative.

“Everywhere they go, they just bring such a positive attitude and friendliness. We’ve been airdropping teams of Irish fans into terrorist hotspots for years now, and they’ve always managed to calm everything down with a few rousing choruses of Fields Of Athenry. We’ll be deploying the Green Army into Syria later this week, and also into Moscow itself to put a bit of a smile on Putin’s face”.

WWN will be monitoring this breaking story, and will bring you footage of some lad from Athlone standing in Damascus holding a tricolour with “My Wife Thinks I’m At Work” written on it, as and when it happens.