Budget 2016 Delayed By Government After Noonan Forgets To Carry The One


THE Government has pushed back the unveiling of Budget 2016 indefinitely after the Department of Finance confirmed that Minister for Finance Michael Noonan forgot to carry the one.

“Look, it could happen to anyone, sometimes I’m rounding up to the nearest number on employment figures and before I know it, I’ve rounded up to 100% by accident,” the Taosieach explained in an address to the media earlier today.

Minister Noonan had taken a trip to his local Easons to purchase a new calculator yesterday in anticipation of adding together the final tally of numbers and figures that often make up a budget.

“I’m fecking mortified no two ways about it,” Minister Noonan said in a brief apology, “I’d been so excited about the new calculator I lost a bit of focus and before I knew it I’d forgot to carry the fucking one at some stage”.

The Fine Gael TD went on to reassure the public that the budget would be unveiled as soon as possible, and that there were some very promising numbers in the mix.

“Oh, look, I think will be happy once I’ve gone over it all again. There’s some fantastic figures in there, we have a 27 somewhere in there, and there’s a 12, which I really like the look of, and of course a 59”.

Minister Noonan also confirmed that he would keep his index finger below the numbers while adding them together in an effort to ensure he properly keeps account of everything.