IRA Recruiting New Members Via JobBridge

POLITICAL parties have emerged once more from their summer holidays to roundly condemn Sinn Féin, this time criticising them for the IRA’s use of the JobBridge scheme.

Fine Gael were the first party to condemn the ad placement on the JobBridge site by issuing a statement which read “IRA bad. Sinn Féin bad. Fine Gael good”.

Many usually ardent supporters of the internship scheme which sees the unemployed receive an additional €50 a week on top of their Jobseeker’s Allowance have reacted angrily.

“It’s time for Sinn Féin to admit the IRA’s existence, we’ve seen them use JobBridge now to recruit new members and it’s disgraceful,” Tánaiste Joan Burton told assembled journalists this morning.

“It is typical of Sinn Féin and IRA to expect young Republicans to offer themselves up for the cause with little chance of full employment,” Burton added seemingly forgetting for a moment that she has been a champion of the JobBridge scheme since its inception.

The ad itself offers the successful candidate “an opportunity to learn all facets how to operate a successful rowing club” while a full time position after the 9 month placement has not been ruled out: “we here at the Irish Rowing Association (IRA) believe in giving people an opportunity and will look to make this position full time if possible”.

Sinn Féin’s republican rivals Fianna Fáil have similarly spoken out against the IRA’s use of the scheme.

“The IRA are actively recruiting now, and Sinn Féin should be ashamed,” explained Fianna Fáil leader Micheal Martin, “Sinn Féin can see the IRA here are recruiting. The IRA will continue to do this, and what will Sinn Féin say about it?” Martin added before asking a nearby aide if he had mentioned IRA and Sinn Féin in the same sentence enough times.