William And Kate Tuck Into Royal Placenta


WITH the media furore surrounding the birth of the Royal Baby™ showing no signs of easing, Prince William and his wife Kate Middleton are finally getting around to frying up the baby’s placenta and having it for dinner.

The Duchess of Cambridge gave birth to baby Charlotte Elizabeth Diana at 8:34 AM, weighing 8lbs 3oz, on Saturday the 2rd of May. Kate then delivered the afterbirth, weighing 2lb 2oz, at 8:35 am on the same day.

Like many parents, the Duke and Duchess retained the uterine organ in order to consume it, and absorb the nutritional value contained within.

Although eager to eat the placenta as quickly as possible, the couple chose instead to freeze it in order to attend to their strenuous public commitments. With visits to the Queen and other relatives out of the way, the couple can finally sit down for a nice placenta supper.

“Look, we could have just thrown it in the Nutri-bullet there in the delivery ward and made smoothies, but we wanted to wait,” said William, on his way home from the shops.

“You only get so many of these things in a lifetime, so there was no sense in just joylessly chugging it down while Kate was getting her stitches. So we took it out of the freezer this morning, and it should be ready for the pan when we get home”.

News teams from across the world are now gathered at the gates of the Royals’ Norfolk home at Amber Hall, waiting for further news about the meal, one of the baby’s used nappies, a baby wipe, literally anything at all they can report on.