€10m Lotto Winner Currently Up As Far As “Pricks From School” On Phone Call List
REPORTS coming in to WWN headquarters have hinted that the winner of last night’s Lotto jackpot has spent the morning making phone calls to people he hates, and is currently up as far as people from school who were total pricks.
The lucky punter, believed to be from Kildare, scooped approximately €10.2 million following the postponement of Wednesday’s draw due to a technical malfunction.
Believed to be a man in his mid-20’s, the as-yet-unnamed millionaire has reportedly been sticking it to those who pissed him off in the past, beginning with asshole bosses from jobs he hated, before moving to two-timing exes and then on to pricks from school.
“I got a phone call around five this morning,” said Ian Connolly, Kildare native and self-confessed prick.
“It was just a lad laughing for like five minutes. He then said ‘hey, remember how you were such a prick to me back in school?’ before laughing some more and then hanging up. I can’t narrow down who it was though, as I was a prick to a lot of people in school… it was kinda my thing back then”.
As the search for the identity of the young winner continues, phones calls consisting of nothing but hysterical laughter continue to be made to a succession of dickheads and bullies in the greater Kildare area.
It is believed that the man may also be making calls to companies and service providers, with a spokesperson from Irish Water confirming that they received an anonymous call this morning from a man who claimed to have won the Lotto but was “still not giving them a fucking penny”.