Farmers Expect Bumper Crop Of E-Cigarette Fluid This Year


PROJECTIONS for this years E-Cigarette fluid harvest was announced this morning, with farmers expecting a huge increase in the amount of the much-sought after commodity over the next 12 months.

Unlike tobacco, the valuable fluid used in Electronic Cigarettes is grown organically across the globe, and contains 80% of an adults daily requirements of Vitamin C.

Designed to wean cigarette smokers off harmful smoking, e-cigs use the extracted sap fluid to deliver generous portions of pure nicotine into the user’s system, leaving it in high demand as people make the switch to vaping.

As such, todays report that there will be a plentiful supply of the fluid for the next few seasons will come as a relief to those who are just as hooked on e-cigs as they were on regular cigarettes.

“The cold spell we’re experiencing now has left the e-cig fluid trees in just the right conditions for exceptional growth this year, ” said Hilary Carroll, spokesperson for the Crop Assessors Association at this morning’s press conference.

“As such, we forecast that all e-cig fluids will be in plentiful supply this year, including the Strawberry Ice-Cream flavoured which suffered so badly during last year’s drought. The new crop of clove flavoured fluid is coming in very well too, which should give users an all new, great tasting, absolutely harmless liquid chemical to inhale into their lungs as often as they like”.

Following the announcement, e-cig fluid farms across the globe began their celebratory e-cig fluid berry pressing festival, where members of the public were offered the chance to take their shoes off, step into a barrel of e-cig fluid berries and squish that non-toxic, 100% traceable, perfectly safe liquid out.