Shock As GAA Club Final Passes Without 30 Man Brawl

THERE was outrage throughout the GAA community this weekend, as a club championship match played out without descending into a 30-man schmozzle.

Historically, GAA club finals have been the best place for fans of massive on-pitch battles, as the pressure of championship glory in players overcomes their ability to not swing a thump at the nearest moving human.

Videos of GAA brawls have amassed millions of views online, with people all across the world tuning in to see players, goalkeepers, management staff, physiotherapists, umpires, and stray supporters surge into the middle of the pitch and start throwing digs and heavy deadeners at each other.

Spectators at the Intermediate Final between Ardmorney Celts and Lismacaffrey Dodgers in Westmeath on Saturday were said to be shocked and dismayed, as the Ardmorney players managed to win the coveted Sister Margaret Hennessy Cup without the game breaking down into a vicious melee.

“I was standing there recording the whole game, waiting for shit to kick off,” said Ian McCoy, one of 78 spectators in attendance at the 36,000 seater Ivomec Stadium outside Mullingar.

“Instead, the two teams played a good competitive game of football, which went the full duration without anyone getting a broken jaw. It’s a disgrace; there were players going in for good, hard challenges, and instead of the teams getting into a shoving match over the referee’s decision, they just went on playing”.

“I even followed the teams over to the changing rooms at half time thinking they’d get into a maul on their way off the pitch… Nothing. It makes you wonder why people bother coming to county finals anymore”.

Following a review of video footage, the GAA is to issue a statement later today, with many believing that Ardmorney will be stripped of the title and a replay called, in order for a proper row to take place.