Man Who “Never Watches X-Factor” Sure Seems To Know A Lot About It

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A DUBLIN man has shown an impressive knowledge of this year’s season of The X-Factor, despite ongoing claims that he absolutely hates the show and never watches it.

The X-Factor, currently in its 11th season, has long been the source of derision from music fans who despise the manufactured drama among the contestants as well as the ‘instant fame’ granted by the talent search format of the show.

Others have cited an intense dislike of series producer and head judge Simon Cowell as principal offending factors, with many taking to social media to decry the show, including 28-year-old Michael Quinn.

“The X-Factor? It’s a load of bollocks, I never fucking, watch it,” said Quinn, who lives with his wife in Glasnevin. “It’s the same shit every year, all these no-talent hacks coming out crying about their grandmothers, making up all these sob stories… It’s bullshit, who could sit through that?”

Despite his weekly rants about the show, which has created such household names as Steve Brookstein and Leon Jackson, co-workers of Mr. Quinn have noted that, for a man who claims to never watch the X-Factor, he certainly seems to have an intricate knowledge of the events of each episode.

Staff at McKenna, Herbert & Young, where Mr. Quinn is an accountant, often find themselves embroiled in heated debates with him over recent events on the show, which reached a crescendo today after Irish contestant Janet Grogan was booted off at the weekend.

“Anytime we’re talking about The X-factor, Michael always tells us we’re wasting our time with ‘that rubbish'” said office secretary Sheila Goodman, longtime X-Factor fan. “This morning me and a few others were discussing Janet getting kicked off instead of Helen while we were having coffee, and Michael was straight over to tell us why we were wrong”.

“He claimed that Helen was by far the better vocalist, and she had proved herself at the judges’ houses while Janet had shown an extremely limited range. Throughout this lecture, he kept assuring us that he didn’t watch the show, but that his wife ‘has it on in the background’ at the weekend”.

As the 11th series rolls on, ratings have shown that 7.7 million viewers have The X-Factor “on in the background”, down significantly from last year.

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