Speech Therapy Added To Long List Of Failed Services In Ireland



FOLLOWING a report from Inclusion Ireland claiming as many as 3,000 children requiring speech therapy services are not having their needs met come the revelations that it is yet another failed service to add to a growing list.

Ireland, a modern and thriving 21st century Western nation excels at so many things while simultaneously failing to meet some of people’s most basic and essential needs, prompting the Government to simply ask that the public make itself aware of this reality.

The news that 3,000 children will just have to go without when it comes to speech therapy, is the 221st such announcement of the year, prompting the Government into action.

“We’d greatly appreciate if the public could keep a list of the lack of essential services in this country,” explained a Government source, “maybe stick it up on the fridge or something, it’d just be nice to keep track of it all so you know how fucked you are if you happen to need these particular services”.

The list is believed to already include a variety of services and outlets, many people idiotically think should be present in one of the world’s more prosperous western nations.

“Obviously, in the Celtic Tiger days we used to hand out money on street corners to people if they needed anything but those days have changed,” explained senior civil servant Cyril Sergeant Snr, “but now in this age of austerity we can all acknowledge that for the very first time in the history of the State, a handful of people are not living a perfect life. It is quite a shock to the system”.

“If the Irish public’s expectation is that they should have services that are not understaffed and underfunded then, I mean, come on, it’s not like we are one of the richest nations in the world or anything,” concluded civil servant Cyril Sergeant.