Man Begins Six Month Countdown To St. Stephen’s Day Piss-Up

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Nicholas Magee, a 26-year-old mechanic from Dundalk, has today begun the six-month countdown to St. Stephen’s Day where he will partake in what is traditionally the biggest piss-up of his calender year.

St. Stephen’s Day, known as Boxing Day to protestants, is celebrated on the 26th of December and as a holiday it has become synonymous with heavy post-Christmas drinking sessions among many of the population. Although originally a Catholic feast day in honour of St. Stephen, the day has received criticism for being too focused on alcohol binges and sandwich consumption. The expensive over-indulgence has meant that many people begin planning for the day months in advance.

“People say you’re mad, planning St. Stephen’s Day this early,” said Mr. Magee, currently of fixed abode.

“But a Stephen’s Day session just doesn’t happen by itself. There’s so much planning to be done; I have to get back in the good books of a few pubs I’m barred from in town, I have to start putting away a bit of coke here and there, I have to apply for a loan from the Credit Union… all these things take time”.

The Oriel park season ticket sharer went on to outline several mistakes that people make during St. Stephen’s Day preparations.

“Some people say St. Stephen’s night is a shit night to go out” drawled Magee, on his way down the town.

“That’s the people who leave everything to the last minute. I put the work into making it a great night for me and the lads. It’s the work you do behind the scenes that really pay off; like making sure there’s cans back at the house for when you fall in at four in the morning, or knowing which pub in town has a defibrillator in case shit goes down like it did last year”.

Acknowledging people’s desires to plan ahead, many pubs are now offering St. Stephen’s Day Clubs where you can pay a little every week to ensure you get properly destroyed on the 26th of December.

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