90% Of Mid-Term Holiday Teens Acting The Bolllix Outside Your Local Shop Now


A NEW STUDY carried out by older wiser people has found that 91.7% of teenage school goers are acting the bollix outside your local shop right now, and being very annoying indeed.

It is believed the majority of retail outlets around the country are saturated with the tracksuit wearing youths, causing a sharp rise in tobacco and Freddo chocolate bar sales.

In contrast, thousands of Irish parents are quietly sitting at home enjoying the ‘bit of piece’ while their children run a muck outside Centra and Daybreak stores.

“Sure its the Easter holidays now; don’t they deserve a bit of freedom?” said mother of three, Theresa Mangon, while sipping a large glass of Chablis by the fire. “They’ll be fine once they all stick together in a large group.”

The study suggests that at least one out of ten parents care enough for the welfare of their children by giving them curfews and exercising strict guidelines on how to behave responsibly in social situations.

Psychologists at the University of Portlaw, Waterford, who carried out the study, also suggested that the findings could help explain the origins of supermarket employees.

The team lead by Dr Paudie Dunne, followed several groups of ‘Spar-shop teenagers’ over a ten year period, all of whom spent most of their teenage years hanging around outside various different stores.

Dr. Dunne found that a staggering 75% of the teens in the study actually ended up working in a dead-end retail job of some kind, with the other 25% of the group studied opting for a career in recreational drug and alcohol abuse.

“Its ironic, three quarters of teens who hang around store fronts end up working in them!” he concluded.