NASA Hire Irish Travelers To Collect Orbiting Space Debris

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AMERICAN SPACE Agency, NASA announced today a $2bn scrappage deal with an Irish Traveler family to collect over 4,000 dormant satellites orbiting the earth.

John Anthony Connors from Limerick and his 14 brothers Jamsie, Paddy, Micky, Joseph, Mikey, Peter, Mick, John Paul, Aiden, Steven, Joey, Jamsie and Michael will travel to a special training facility in Cape Canaveral in Florida to undergo an intensive six month course in space exploration.

NASA spokesperson Todd Chambers told WWN the Connors family actually approached them about the floating space debris.

“They were very insistent on the phone and the conversation took quite some time as they were all talking at once. It was quite disorientating.” recalled Chambers, a test-pilot turned public relations manager for the space agency. “We eventually arranged a meeting in County Limerick and before we knew it, we struck a deal by spitting into our hands and shaking. It happened very fast.”

The Irish travelers, who have over 50 years experience in dealing with scrap metal, believe the mission to last “well over a year” and are expected to dispose of the orbiting junk themselves.

“We have plenty of places tha’ will pay top dollar for that kinda gear.” explained John Anthony Connors, who appointed himself as project manager after a brief scuffle with his brother Peter. “Don’t be worrying where we puts them at’ll. We have all that sorted now to be true.”

Concerned for ‘live satellites’, NASA forced the group to sign a contract stating they will stay clear of objects like the International Space Station.

“We wouldn’t touch them now cause there be payple in them.” said the 35-year-old traveling man. “T’wouldn’t be fair on ’em like, ya know?”

The Connors’ first mission into space will launch on the 19th of October 2014.

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