Flock Of Suppliers Queue Up Behind Blank Cheque Book After Metrolink Get Planning Green Light

THE DIN OF a low rumbling sound that only grew louder was reported by residents surrounding the Department of Transport in the seconds after An Coimisiún Pleanála gave the green light to the Metrolink project.

“I thought it was the sound of one of those big yokes you’d get to dig a tunnel for a metro like, but it was just some sleveen pricks trying to run to the top of fleecing queue,” explained one resident.

Thousands of suppliers of construction services, solutions, tools and materials descended on Leeson Street Lower to plead their case as to why the thing they’re providing has unexpectedly doubled in price.

“And that’s me doing it basically at cost,” explained one man drooling at the sight of the Irish state’s cheque book, who was trying to explain that wires with electricity pre-loaded into them were very costly but necessary.

“Construction grade left-handed hammers have been expensive since Covid times, ask anyone and they’ll tell you the same,” explained one supplier who was hoping the preferred bidder would play ball and keep the tap running.

“Look it, best out of luck to you, no, go on. If you can find someone who can de-weasel the soil and drain the subterranean lava under Dublin for cheaper be my guest but that’s a fair price,” added another supplier, whose insistence that ‘chakra disturbance’ caused by the Metrolink construction could also require the importing of 40 tonnes of sage but luckily he knows a guy.

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