Government Minister Will Visit Places Without Power Once It’s Confirmed Their Mileage Is Covered By New Travel Expenses

SEVERAL GOVERNMENT ministers have confirmed they will attend scenes of ongoing power outages and water shortages as soon as they can get clarification from someone in Leinster House that their expenses will cover their car mileage.

“It’s a very troubling time, and there’s a lack of information out there; can I claim for a broader array of expenses as a junior minister compared to what I claimed as a regular TD,” offered one new minister off the record.

“The whole point of getting €45k extra in expenses is only undertaking certain trips and so on if you know you’re covered”.

Other ministers stressed that with the Dáil not sitting for two weeks, visiting places still struggling with the after effects of Storm Eowyn counted as ‘time off’.

“I think visiting those god-forsaken places is, eh, well that’s more for my colleague, the Junior Minister for Natural Disaster Response. Not sure what I, as Junior Minister for Response to Natural Disasters could do, also I hate meeting members of the public, especially angry ones,” offered another minister.

In light of ongoing power outages the government has issued more official guidelines and advice, urging people with power to do the following:

Turn your TVs up loud enough so you can’t hear the pleas of ‘help’ coming from blackout areas.

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