Met Éireann Issue Status Rosé Warning

A RARE Status Rosé warning has been issued by Met Éireann as freezing temperatures continue to engulf the country today.

“Rosé warnings are the most dangerous level of weather colours a country can reach, bringing with it a series of hangover weather events which could take days or even weeks to clear,” a spokesperson described the latest warning from the state meteorological service of Ireland.

Met Éireann has previously denied the Rosé warning is permission for parents to polish off the last bottles from Christmas to cope with the fact many schools remain closed.

Unimpressed the lack of danger inherent in the look and sound of a Status Rosé weather warning, many people have criticised the choice of pinky hue colour to describe the current cold front which could plunge as far as -10 degrees.

“I know purple is now used to highlight summer temperatures that exceed 20 degrees in Ireland, but surely they could have chosen something a little more dramatic like royal blue or jet black, not fucking rosé,” voiced local man Jeremy Hayes. “It doesn’t exactly scream Armageddon, you know?”

Defending their choice, Met Éireann pointed out if anyone had ever drank three bottles of rosé wine at a staff Christmas party and was found half naked the next morning in the foyer of the hotel after soiling themselves and the set of luxury sofas which cost €5k just as everyone else was checking out then they would understand the reasoning for the colour choice.

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