Pope Francis Dared By Cardinals To Drop 10 Kendrick Lamar Lyrics Into Sermon

A VISIBLY SWEATING Pope Francis was praised today after a nerve-wracking undertaking saw him manage to include as many as 10 sets of Kendrick Lamar lyrics into a sermon, the result of mischievous dare by Vatican cardinals who had grown bored of rinse and repeat religious sermons.

“Mass has been said around the world for what, at least 60 years? You’ve got change it up, keep it interesting for yourself but also the worshipers,” said a Vatican spokesperson batting back criticism that has followed on from Pope Francis completing what some have called an unsavoury prank.

“Me and Top Dawg playing rock, paper, scissors in court, a real hustler lose money just to go get some more,” said the Pope as part of his sermon, quoting The Heart Part IV which had the unintended consequence of worshipers believing it was an admittance to the Church’s stonewalling millions of victims on receiving compensation.

The Vatican has subsequently cleared up that while the verse is ‘straight up fire’ it is just that; merely lyrics from a rapper at the top of his game. For completing the task the Pope is said to have first dibs on Communion wine for the next month.

“Ten Hail Marys, I meditate for practice. Channel 9 news tell me I’m movin’ backwards, eight blocks left, death is around the corner. Seven misleadin’ statements ’bout my persona. Six headlights wavin’ in my direction, five-O askin’ me what’s in my possession,” the Pope was later heard quoting during the mass, with it still unclear if this is an original attempt at spitting bars or merely the third verse in Lamar’s feature on Beyoncé’s ‘Freedom’.

More hardline traditionalists have criticised the frivolous jocular behaviour however, the Vatican has said it much reach out to younger and more diverse worshipers now and in the future.

“We’ve a whole Minecraft based mass coming soon, and then there’s the Hentai version of The Taking Of Christ painting which will be hanging in the Basilica from next week, we can’t say everyone is welcome unless we truly make them feel welcome,” the Vatican said.

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