Israel Begins ‘Teeny Weeny Little Invasion’ Of Lebanon

“YOU won’t even notice us,” an IDF spokesman promised the world’s media as Israel launched its ground invasion of Lebanon today.

“This will be a teeny-weeny little operation, much like the one we did in Gaza so don’t you guys worry, we’re very good at this,” added the spokesman, brushing off the deaths of over 1,000 innocent civilians who were obliterated by air strikes this week.

Urging 1 million Lebanese to flee their homes, Israel reassured residents they’ll be really careful not to make too much of a mess while they’re gone.

“We’re just going to kill the rest of Hezbollah now – hopefully they’ll be in the same spot so we don’t have to level this entire place into a car park”.

The teeny-weeny little invasion of the sovereign state was met by several ‘ah no’s’, and some ‘oh don’t do that’s’ from world leaders, attempting to look concerned on one hand while simultaneously supporting the Israeli regime in another.

“Actually both our hands are tied here,” insisted US President Joe Biden, who signed off $8.7bn in military aid to Israel last month.

“If only there was a way to stop them,” echoed EU president Ursula von der Leyen, who oversaw billions of euros in aid to Israel since 2019 under the guise of ‘security research’ funnelled through the Horizon Europe programme.