“Massive Floods In Europe Worth It If It Means Ireland Gets Week Of Sun”
“AH LET’S not bring the mood down, have you seen the forecast this week? Bar-Bray-dos, wha?” insisted local man and climate scientist Eamon Tyrell, to fellow colleagues in the canteen at work as they were all sharing awestruck worry at the news of devastating floods in Czechia, Poland, Slovakia, Hungary and Germany and Austria.
With Czechia receiving almost 6 months worth of rain in a matter of hours, the devastating impacts of extreme weather events had reignited the passion of workers at the EPA, however, this passion did not extend to Tyrell.
“I’m a glass half full kind of climate scientist as you lot know, rain over there but sun here? Happy days, it’s all about how you look at it from if you ask me, and the way I look at it is catastrophically short term and naive in nature,” continued Tyrell, dreaming of building a sand castle at his nearest beach before realising how much he hates the sand.
Sensing his persuasive way of thinking was on the verge of converting some people to his way of thinking Tyrell continued speechifying.
“What’s the sense is worrying here about a bit of rain over there, sure it’ll cost billions in damage and devastate economies and result in lives and livelihoods ruined but until that happens here just enjoy the 99s,” added the head of the government taskforce aimed at averting the negative impacts of weather events on Ireland.