Keir Starmer May Have Been ‘Recruited By Cork Intelligence Officer’

THE ATTEMPTED recruit of an Irish politician by Russian intelligence officers is just the tip of the espionage iceberg, as WWN has learned a Cork intelligence officer has attempted to recruit British PM Keir Starmer.

The pariah county, hostile toward all neighbours, is said to have placed a ‘sleeper agent’ within Starmer’s government with the express intention to advance the Cork cause around the world.

Codenamed ‘The Langer’ the unnamed Cork person has apparently been appointed to a high ranking role on Starmer’s staff, putting them in the unique position of having the ear of one the most powerful politician’s in the world.

In the recent hours Starmer has reportedly replaced a portrait of Tony Blair in his office with Roy Keane, and given Hillbilly’s the contract to cater for all UK state dinners.

“The Langer has Starmer wrapped around his finger, it all started with honeytrap that was basically just getting Keir to try Beamish, seven pints later he was offering The Langer the 6 counties back,” explained one insider with knowledge on the matter.

However, despite spy-craft possibly bringing about the reunification of Ireland, The Langer declined the offer instead focusing on brainwashing Starmer into supporting a breakaway Cork republic.

“The Langer said he can have Dublin and the rest of it for all he cares, just help Cork achieve freedom,” said the source.

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