Harvey Weinstein Rushed To Hospital In Rare Good News Story

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AMID a world in chaos, suffering the slings and arrows of constant death and suffering there is a chink of light and hope, and it has come in the form of breaking news headline ‘Harvey Weinstein rushed to hospital’.

“Y’know I had a shit Monday so this has perked my Tuesday right up!” confirmed everyone.

Smiles beamed across the globe and spirits were lifted upon learning Weinstein had to be attended to by doctors.

“I don’t wish ill on anyone… not named ‘former Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein’, so this is just swell. ‘Emergency’ heart surgery? What’s the rush?” shared many people.

“Was it surgery for his weird tiny abomination of a penis we heard so much about during his trial? No, it was his heart. Oh didn’t know he had one,” concluded everyone.

UPDATE: Struggling streaming services have been locked in a bidding war the ongoing rights to livestreamed his misery.

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